My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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