I cockslap morals
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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