in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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