we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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