I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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