porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
