You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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