Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
