I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
