This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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