ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
