so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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