On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
