Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
