i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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