once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize