I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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