An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize