Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize