The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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