Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
