I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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