You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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