Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
