So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
