oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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