What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
