the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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