ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
