OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
