This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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