so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
