i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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