just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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