clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
