Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Panties = found
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
