I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize