yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize