I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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