I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Welp...herpes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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