i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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