i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
