let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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