Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
