I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
