One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
