nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
