We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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