you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
