We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I understand Curling. That high.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
