I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize