Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
