the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
