I wish I could teleport
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize