I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
