I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
