i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
