I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
