we're blogging at a bar
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
