Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize