areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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