its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
