Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
