I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
What a dumb baby whore.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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